A toxic friendship. One where she did nothing wrong, but yet feels guilty. Someone hurt her, yet she feels bad. She knows it isn’t right to torture herself like this, but she goes back. She rewinds to all the moments she felt happy with that old friend. The toxicity she never noticed. She felt loved and happy and free, unknowingly being used. She talks to her everyday, even though she knows it’s wrong. The inside jokes and silent laughter still remain. She doesn’t know how to let it go. It hurts. It really does. She wonders to herself…am i strong? Am I weak? She’s lost. Feeling like she’s in a downward spiral. She sees that face in the halls, smiling at her as if everything is alright. She tries to focus on other things. Anything else! But….she can’t. She’s forced to face her thoughts. The sadness deepens. She doesn’t even know her own truth anymore. She just knows she can’t escape. She can’t escape the memories of the past, the events of the present, or the worries for the future.